I now know I was never gay, even though I lived the lifestyle and all that came with being an addict. Today, nothing stops me from being all who Jesus has made me to be.

“…I learned that God didn’t just want my Sunday mornings—He wanted my heart. He wanted to be with me in every part of life”

As I surrendered my false identities, addictions, and insistence on self-rule, God began a gradual work of true transformation in my life—through repentance, obedience, community, and perseverance.

The journey wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

Jesus didn’t ask me to change overnight. He asked me to follow Him. And as I walk with Him, He changes what needs to be changed. I’m not perfect, but I’m free.

Today I am fulfilled, joyful, and feminine—all things that I never was while living as a lesbian. I am no longer sexually attracted to women.

I love being a woman, a wife, and a mother. Once full of fear, I am now truly free.

Ever since I surrendered to the Lord, He has walked with me through every phase of reclaiming my true identity.

Because I’m able to see myself as the Lord sees me, the desires of my heart have changed.

Suddenly, while praying, I became aware of my own desperate need for life and love. This was the beginning of my transformation and return to Christ. As I took a baby step toward him, he took a giant step toward me…

Not only did my cheating girlfriend break up with me for attending a church, but the “trans woman” (my now-husband Simon), and I were both thrown out of the church.

There was a figure wearing white clothing… He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Don’t be afraid; trust Me. No one will be harmed."

Honestly, I didn’t want to be a ‘trans woman’; I wanted to be a real woman.

I no longer suffer from debilitating depression, thanks to my awakening to a new life in Christ.

No one, not even my mother, knew that my longing to be a boy, a budding transgender identity, was based upon my desire to keep my body from being sexually violated.

No matter how many surgeries I had, every time I looked in the mirror, I saw a man staring back at me.

“[An older man] lavished attention on me, and I loved it. But after a few times together, he seemed to lose interest in me. I found it difficult to enter into a long-term relationship with other men.”

No one had ever told me God loved me, but suddenly, He was telling me Himself. When I walked out of that church, my life dramatically changed.

My faith gave me courage to confront the wounds of my past. As I have embraced and loved myself as a man, a husband, and father, same-sex feelings have dwindled.

I also received much healing prayer over many years for the various traumas I’d experienced in my life. Today, I’m very secure in my womanhood.