I now know I was never gay, even though I lived the lifestyle and all that came with being an addict. Today, nothing stops me from being all who Jesus has made me to be.

“…I learned that God didn’t just want my Sunday mornings—He wanted my heart. He wanted to be with me in every part of life”

As I surrendered my false identities, addictions, and insistence on self-rule, God began a gradual work of true transformation in my life—through repentance, obedience, community, and perseverance.

The journey wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

Jesus didn’t ask me to change overnight. He asked me to follow Him. And as I walk with Him, He changes what needs to be changed. I’m not perfect, but I’m free.

Today I am fulfilled, joyful, and feminine—all things that I never was while living as a lesbian. I am no longer sexually attracted to women.

I love being a woman, a wife, and a mother. Once full of fear, I am now truly free.

Because I’m able to see myself as the Lord sees me, the desires of my heart have changed.

Suddenly, while praying, I became aware of my own desperate need for life and love. This was the beginning of my transformation and return to Christ. As I took a baby step toward him, he took a giant step toward me…

“[An older man] lavished attention on me, and I loved it. But after a few times together, he seemed to lose interest in me. I found it difficult to enter into a long-term relationship with other men.”

No one had ever told me God loved me, but suddenly, He was telling me Himself. When I walked out of that church, my life dramatically changed.

My faith gave me courage to confront the wounds of my past. As I have embraced and loved myself as a man, a husband, and father, same-sex feelings have dwindled.

I also received much healing prayer over many years for the various traumas I’d experienced in my life. Today, I’m very secure in my womanhood.

Rejection ruled my life as an unrelenting symphony of lies, as I attempted every which way to gain acceptance.

I believe that God’s answer to my prayer, ‘Please remove this from me,’ was, ‘Here’s an opportunity to stop hiding. Would you like to take it?’

Christians were the people who loved me wholeheartedly and ultimately helped free me from the pain I had carried in my heart. They responded to my vulnerability with tenderness.

None of the many psychologists, pastors, and teachers who tried to help me knew what to do or how to address the impact of my broken family on my identity.

I thought because of my choices God had abandoned me, but instead I discovered He had never left.

I became aware that He was the real man I had been looking for all my life, and though I had always tried to love Him, I never realized how much He loved me, personally and intimately. Experiencing the love of Jesus literally changed my life forever.

As I chose to follow Jesus and surrender my sexuality to him, he began to show me what it meant to be a son and to walk in purity.