I recognized He was fighting for my life even when I was not, and that caused me to want to know Him. I started reading the Bible in my room and singing to Him as a way of expressing my love and hunger. Along the way, I began experiencing Him as a loving father and His love has never stopped.

I have been allowing the Holy Spirit to do the work in me. I know who I am, and I look to Scripture to define what masculinity looks like.

Through the Holy Spirit and counseling, I addressed root issues of shame, trauma, rejection, and abuse in my life.

No longer imprisoned by guilt and shame, I can confidently say that the Lord is truly my deliverer, savior, and loving father.

I relate to God and people as a true man, with strength and boldness. God, in fact, has taken this quiet, gay boy and made him as bold as a lion!

As I would see things in the Bible, I began to apply them to my life; God was transforming me from the inside out.

One night I heard him whisper that my husband was waiting, and for the first time in my life, I felt a desire for marriage to a man. I prayed the most honest prayer I had ever prayed that night, and God answered. Change was possible!

My favorite part about being a redeemed man is that I don't have to fit into the stereotypical boxed-in version of American masculinity.

Today I absolutely love being a feminine woman. The Lord healed me so gently yet radically!! Even when I was ashamed of how weird I looked and the fact that I had a 5 o'clock shadow and no breasts, I told everyone I could about what Jesus had done

I became part of a family—something foreign, yet beautiful that transformed me over time. Love transformed me.

Today, I feel like a new man. The manhood I saw demonstrated by Jesus was a version that I could connect with and in submitting my life to Him, I have adopted His manhood.

God quickly began showing me that I was created to be holy. From that moment forward I could no longer live as a gay man.

I asked God to teach me how to be a man and He taught me what godly manhood looks like.

It started with experiencing God's Love

God has given me a freedom that I thought I would never, ever experience.

In front of a holy God, I knew I had to make a choice about everything I’d actually come to identify myself as. It wasn’t just something I did anymore--this was me. How was I going to bring it into the light?

I cried out, asking for forgiveness and a silencing of tormenting dreams. This is the moment things started to drastically change. I awoke to the reality that I’m female, always have been and always will be, a woman designed to love a man.

Eventually, I found myself wanting to change. I was in a relationship with a woman and made a vow to God that, if the relationship didn’t work out, I would leave lesbianism. I was unfulfilled and I knew that only God could fill that void.

My life was pure hell. Though I knew that I was supposed to die to my flesh, I never could reconcile my faith with that of the gay lifestyle. In every relationship I had, God was a problem.

My life is great today. I haven't been with women in 12 years and haven't desired to. I desire to get married to a man and have children. It took a few years of healing before my outward appearance changed, but it has been a wonderful process. I now love my femininity and wear it well.